I can't stand my own father?

Wow. You just practically described my youngest son. I NEVER thought he was a failure. (he is 19 now) How can you be a failure at age 14???? He was not athletic, but he got straight A's in school. That was all I needed. He is doing so fine in college now. I don't understand why your dad thinks you are a failure. Maybe you think he thinks these things. You need to ask him point blank what he thinks of you. My sons are the total opposite of each other. I never expected them to be like me, even though my oldest is like me somewhat. You should blossom into manhood, just wait. My son was the smallest kid in all his cles and he wore gles. He blossomed into a fine young man around the age of 17. He has plenty girls calling him. He bought himself contacts with his earnings at age 16. So, just have a talk with your dad. You may find he is really proud of you and does not compare you with his past.